தி வே ஒப் கிவிங் பிரத்

I do understand, that if I want to change the system, I must go into it. However being inside makes possible all the implications of the system on You.

We wanted to walk the way of giving birth without the help of modern medicine. There is no need, to describe, why. The natural and spontaneous birth is one of few fully natural actions, what is left to mankind. Now is getting into common, to not doing so.

On Friday, at a regular inspection, our doctor discovered a risk factor, namely low embryo water level. Already its been the 40th week. He(the dr.) wanted to undertake no risk, I took Monika to the hospital that day evening. Surprisingly, he said, that we wait until Tuesday, if the birth not gonna start until this date, he will take out the baby. In Galanta hospital all third baby is born that way... (a standard 15 min. operation).

At the weekend nothing happened, also nothing on Monday. We started to have bad feelings.
On Tuesday, Monika was not open at all. She had a pill putted to the cervix, to get the birth started. I was with her from the morning, as we've been told, that till 14.00 must be finished the operation in any case. As time advanced and nothing happened, the situation was getting worse and worse. Around 12.00 there were 2 sections before us and it was our turn..

The whole pregnancy, there was no problem, at all. Also on Friday, Monika has no pain so we really wanted to wait and not to have enforced to something unwanted. We asked, whether we can wait some more, or having started the birth with hormones.
Not enough water (after the 38th week its getting less and less) makes risky to wait and not being opened makes impossible to have the hormone cocktail - you can not start push something trough a small hole...
[in early times, doctors made indication of contractions by pushing the sensors with hand gently, therefore indicating on PAPER the need of section if the patient wanted it, but was no reason for doing so - nurses told us later, nowadays you need no prove for having it..]

There was just one section before us. My point was to brake our ties with the doctor, the hospital and the system, underwrite, take all the responsibility from them (what nobody was willing to take), believe our feelings, that all is good. Wait for our time and give birth at any emergency, when it's time. Monika was already crying some time, I was in tears to. A stated my opinion with an addition, that she must make the final decision.
Into this desperate situation came the anesteziolog from Trnava, to ask, if she wants to be asleep, or awake but paralyzed with injection into her spine. We took the last version, what he suggested also. The mother can see the baby, at least..

After that, I told her, that she can change her mind at any time, until she gets the spine injection. In this moment we both cried. I was able to add only, that I didn't gave up jet. She started to subdue. 4 days of uncertainty and the last some ours consumed much of energy. The doctor was asking us, why we resist that much the section. Was not able to understand.
In short time, he called us for the last inspection before operation. I already made clear my opinion, Monika was crying, not being able to take the responsibility. We may look very sad, in the very last moment the doctor sad, that there may be a possibility. He must speak with the chief.

We both signed and officially rejected the section. Our doctor left about 15.30. The chief wanted to speak with us, basically to speak to us..

He very shortly made clear, that this is not common, that we can not made decisions, and that he is the great wizard of gynaecology. All the time he was speaking to us, he stared at her, not at me.

Monika was still in a state prepared for section, on infusion. They gonna try to start the birth next morning with the same method. He never forgot to add, that he sees no chance, and that for the first sign of trouble hi will make the operation.

I left after 10 ours, doing nothing, just avoiding the imminent bad - and we been told from any directions, thet we don't act according to the common, and there can happen that and that. Nobody told, that all can be good. As time advanced, everybody wanted to see the women, who rejects the easy way and wants all the trouble..

At home, I tried to work out a solution. I checked, what can cause the small amount of water, what are the symptoms etc.. Hove much other risk I can enforce without seeing into the problematic.
I just was sure, that 25 years ago (without ultrasonic) they could not do section, because there was no reason. Also Monika would not be in a hospital, we could wait at home and hope for the best.

On the next day, our hope for the natural birth faded with time. At around 11.00 I called her, to make clear, that I think, we at least tried, but we can do nothing more. Or what we can do is even with my standards insanity...

I called her again around 13.00, that I'm finished and heading to the hospital. In two calls there was no answer. I was expecting her at the surgery.. I took it with ease, fully ready to accept it.

Bigger was my surprise, that she is still in whole. The contractions were getting stronger, the womb pill started to make effect. She was drugged with some opiate, to make her open easily.

The doctors were still not believing in the good result, but there was at least hope.

At around 15.30 there was no opening and good contractions. - a good reason for a section.

All day there were operations. No doctor had time for Monika, maybe that was the reason, why they left her.

Around 17.00 the opening was 4 cm. I called our doctor. He was in a quite bad mood, still not believing in a good result. Told, that between 20.00 and 21.00 we finish the thing in any case. I told Monika just the good news and watched her, to look good. When a nurse has coming she had to act confident and strong. Other way they started to speak about negative possibilities.

There are always two nurses. They work from 6.00 till 18.00. There was in both turns one, ready to give good energy, but also one, from whom You can not have help, because she then closed in and acted offended. At least, they acted neutral, when they could speak about own problems and being entertained in some way (tailor made questions).

I've done all possible, to make sure, nobody makes feel her, that there is any reason to worry. To surround her with just nice(only light a red candle) and good(energies, good mood people).

Next to that while parturition (cca. 14.00 - 19.45) my task was to remove some pain from pelvic area, have some sleep and enjoy the moment. All was in our hands (well, Monika's) again. Both nurses openly had the opinion, that all is good. Suddenly even the visiting doctors looked, like the admit, this is the right thing.

She was ready to give birth at around 19.25 (I'm quite sure, because on friend of mine called at 19.23 to ask, whether the baby is born jet.. I' told him, that I'm just back for something, we just moved recently to the labour room).

We had to wait for the doctor, who left his Slovensky Grob goose feast. He had the face to tell us so, that he was not drinking wine and left after the soup. Well, I understand, that is much better to make a planned birth with hormones or a 15 section after two other ones, than drive a good hour and have some possible difficulties. On the other hand, as me the regular two obstetrist could also do the last act. And they job is to be there and not to come fucked up from somewhere..
To collect the birth fee (200e).

However, all vent good. Giving Monika the reason to believe, she is capable to do anything.
(just this reason is hell hard to give sometimes...).

Next time, we find a doctor who lives for giving birth, not from that.
Or we make clear, what is he paid for. (I prefer the first case anyway..)


I must conclude, that childbearing is the most simplest way to add an other entirely new dimension to life.
But without doing so, can not have it.



[I admit, I have no idea, what language or what script is the title of this post... But who can tell me the English sentence, what became this weird stuff after typing into the Title field, let say, can be the godfather of Léla. Let's do it openly, to the comments. First come, first served.]